I know it's been a while. I'm not a fan of excuses. That being said, I am aware of the enduring efforts I have made to try and explain away the many times when I don't live up to my own expectations; expectations which, I have been told, are nothing less than idealistic, as opposed to expecting the most likely result. haha classic.
...YIKES! I just looked and the last time I wrote was November...
I have in fact survived these last few month with a spectrum of experience and thoughts. I will divulge a few, but the rest shall be saved for the next time I have occasion to write or sip tea from a delicate floral teacup with a matching saucer in your sitting room. *sigh* Such lovely thoughts... Please do forgive me for my neglect. Honestly, keeping up is not my forte. I care so much about my friends and family that my long-distance actions are a sad expression of my affection when they are positioned back to back.
Visiting my sister in New Zealand for Christmas was, briefly, a beautiful dream. Haha if you have ever felt the freedom of drastic cultural and relational comparison when experienced in succession, you may understand. Imagine, for example, having walked for the last 77 months with your feet almost always clothed while in public, and spending the final 5 or 6 of those months observing this conduct with the strictest adherence. For many this will sound about right only the length of time will have been your entire life. You then transition to a society that lets you walk almost anywhere with out the barbaric binding of your feet. These beautiful, or not so beautiful, feet that were always meant to be free, to live a whole other side of life that you had almost forgotten you were missing; this was of course because of the 7 year sentence that you had cruelly banished them to. In short, I walked barefooted for a glorious 8 days and relished the moments.
Beyond the cultural freedoms that were afforded me, I was swept into, and included in, a family that God used to help refresh my spirits. They will soon be legally my family...sort of. The family of your sister's soon-to-be husband, are called what exactly? They reminded me of what it was to be apart of a family, to be so, naturally loved. I haven't been out of touch with my mum and dad or anything, but talking with someone is so very different than holding them there with you. If you are yet unaware, I am usually a very affectionate person who thrives in quality time with people. I had been bottling it all up for a few months which seems to have negative effects. It was so nice to not have to initiate, but you know when someone wants to hug you...? Also a lovely thing. I don't know how many times I was prayed for while in their midst and am still prayed for now. It is irreplaceable when someone cares enough for you to talk to Jesus about you. I know many of you pray for me also, and for that I can never thank you enough.
Part of the reason I don't write or photograph everything is that I want some moments to by my moments; to keep for just me and maybe to pass on when reminiscing with old friends. I would love to one day live the rocking chair dream. At the end of our lives, to rock away while swapping stories of what God did, what we saw him do. It'll be better than the movies though, because the stories will be true and we'll be flooded with awe of the adventures we had together and apart, but always with God.
Until later then,
Love,
Haley
