And...now your a teacher!

It was my first day in South Korea...

     May plane arrived at 6:32pm, local time, on Wednesday, July 9th, approximately 27 hours after my departure from Greenville the previous day. I was paged over the airport intercom shortly after going through customs, while trying to decide if my bags had arrived with me. The lady at the desk informed me that my bags would come to my address, at school, the following day in the early afternoon. I thanked her, went through one more security check, and exchanged all of my money, before leaving the Incheon airport an hour later for a new adventure.

     A driver met me with a sign carrying my name and we were off. He spoke almost no English so our dialogue was virtually nonexistent. I was grateful for this, however, because I hadn't slept much on the plane and my ability to verbally express any thought was rapidly declining. I was enjoying the view of my new home from the car window, the ocean, the city, the street signs. After a little confusion we arrived at the school to be met by my boss Iris and her husband, who runs a math school down the hall from our English school. They were very kind and helpful. We transferred my bags into their car and we went upstairs to the school.

     The school is on the fourth floor of a building filled with at least four shops on each of the proceeding floors; this includes a Baskin Robbins on the ground level, holla back. It was now 8:30pm. I was to meet the teacher I would soon replace, Doreen from Ireland, and sit in on her last class of the night. I bought something to eat for breakfast and spent the night in a hotel. At noon on Thursday, I was recovered by Iris and her husband to eat lunch and go to the school again.  I sat and observed through one and a half classes and then it was my turn...

     When I stepped off the plane I had no idea what to expect, but it still had come as a surprise that Doreen was flying out of the country on my second day in South Korea. I would teach four full classes on my own, without any supervision or training, by the end of my first full day. This was intimidating, I must admit, but God has always had my back, and even if everything went wrong, I knew that he had gotten me this far because he had something in mind, something he would let me be a part of; he and I both like adventures. My survival of the first 27hrs in South Korean was nothing short of God carrying my through all the madness, like he does every day, but it is a good reminder when he sees me through a new, seemingly impossible, challenge. He is faithful.

     It has been three weeks and a routine has begun. I walk 30min to school, arriving at 2pm, teach for 8hrs, with time to plan before and after my 6 classes, and walk back to my apt. at 9:30pm. I will tell you more about work on a later date, but know for now that prayer for my middle school classes would be greatly appreciated! The older students speak less English than the younger one and have more difficult and less interesting work to do, but I want them to learn. This goal seems impossible some days, but God is into doing the impossible.

     I really want to be a good teacher. I want to make the most amazing friends who will challenge and love me. I want to be brave... But some days it's hard to be who I want and I have realized that I am not strong enough. I can never be who I want to be. I have a mental list of the person that I want to be and how I want to be viewed by other people, but I never make the cut. I am to selfish, to proud, I make to many mistakes, people take my actions the wrong way, I don't speak out enough, I don't hold my tongue enough or listen enough. I am not that patient and I am not very kind. I want to want Christ more than anything and know his presence every second, but I don't. I am not who I want to be and I will never be strong enough to get there. I am just not enough.

     But Jesus is strong enough. To some of you who have always thought that I was full of it when I talked about God or Jesus, this will probably only serve to confirm your suspicions haha. I was talking to my lovely friend a while ago, when I was having a hard month, and she pointed me back to a question that I still wrestle with...The Bible, the Gospel, Jesus, who cares?! And why does it matter to me, now? Part of the reality of Jesus' life, and death and life, is that every day when I am not strong enough I can put my weight on Him. When someone is taken from me and I feel like my heart and my identity were torn from me with them, He is strong enough. When I feel physically ill because of something that has gone horribly wrong and there is nothing anyone can do, He is strong enough. I don't mean this to sound cliche. And when things are completely overwhelming I almost never have enough cool headedness and optimism to think to myself "God is strong enough, he's got this, la la la la lah." But he doesn't need me to say it for it to be true. It is a fact and my thoughts and feelings don't change who He is.

     Thank you God for being strong enough. Thank you for you faithfulness without mine; for your patience with me when I can't learn. I am a lot like the middle schoolers in my class room. I want to sleep, talk, play, draw on furniture, and I some times could care less about things that might matter. I am at war with myself on that point, but God is still himself even if I am not entirely sure who that is. So, I'm learning.

     Sometimes my thoughts are king of rough and this may be one of those times, but I'm still wrestling. Thank you all for your prayers friends! I love you!!

                Because He is who He is,

                                  Haley (still the only ginger :)